Batman vs. Robin

The next issue of Red Robin apparently features some conflict between Red Robin himself and the new Batman. In the exact words of Chris Yost's twitter, "Man, I hope they don't fight."




(See more at The Source.)

Tim and Dick have actually physically clashed before, in the anticlimactic and looong storyline The Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul, though it wasn't completely in earnest. Mostly they were having a philosophical debate about life and death, bringing back lost loved ones, and Tim's grief and desperation. Still, it seemed as if Tim held his own, especially earlier in that story when the Batcave was overwhelmed by a tsunami of ninjas. (And even Dick admits he's the better detective.)

Then in Battle for the Cowl, which saw Dick emerge as the new Batman (shocker), Tim donned the Cape an' da Cowl for a brief moment to confront Jason Todd's psychotic gun-totin' 'Punisher'-like Batman. He got stabbed in the chest pretty quickly there though. And he's even been trounced by Damian. But in those instances, I completely blame the writers. (Morrison and Daniel.)And it seems to me that Yost is portraying Tim these days as letting go of the reserves that he has held as sacred during his superhero career. Who knows what his limits could be now.


I'm pretty excited for the issue, and I'll miss Ramon Bachs whose artwork I thought was right on key for the first 4 issues. It's my favorite title currently, along with Adventure Comics, and I'm doubly excited for when Connor and Tim reunite. Speaking of Adventure Comics, here's a newly released cover of AC #5, in which a Black Lantern Alexander Luthor (from Infinite Crisis) holds a dead-looking Superboy Prime in his Anti-monitor suit, a la the Superman holding Supergirl pose circa Crisis on Infinite Earths (phew). I'm a bit doubtful of the return of Superboy Prime, yet again, but he's a good foil for Superboy I suppose, and as long as its Geoff Johns at the helm, there's hope.


Check out the DC blog The Source for more choice previews...for instance they've got a bunch of new Titans pages up there, and it looks like they may have found a solid writer finally.


Long Live Red Robin.

Fall TV Preview

As leaves start falling and real jobs with full hours on Friday begin to slowly crash down upon us, there is a small upside. Those favorite shows that you're generally too tired too watch, and too pissed off with commercials to sit through, so you TiVo them or download them later or just realize you don't care enough, are returning. Whether or not you watch them, it gives the sense of time moving forward; premieres means summer is over, sweeps mean Christmas time is coming on, mid-season finales mean you're half-way back to summer, and a second batch of sweeps means some crazy guest star crap will happen and then boom, the summer movie deluge of 2010 begins.

Here are a couple upcoming all-new shows that look good. There aren't many, since executives seem to think there's still a desire for four different new medical dramas, but there are a few.

Glee: By far the most hyped, with the pilot having been leaked/released months and months ago, then recut into three different "Director's" versions, and aired three weeks in a row. You'd think it would be overkill, but its actually been some pretty good marketing. The music numbers are emotional and exciting--'Rehab' was amazing, clips that show 'Gold Digger' and 'Somebody to Love' are chilling--and worth watching for. Even the background music is fantastic (that bum-bum-bum noir bridge is hauntingly lovely.) But surprisingly the acting is stellar too. The main guy is sweet, earnest, endearing, the kids are all believable despite being equal opportunity stereotypes, and Jane Lynch is...well, Jane Lynch. I'd watch anything with her in it...and I have. Looking forward to seeing if this show can keep up its steam, or if its just an extended TV movie kind of thing.


Community: Looks like it could have a few good laughs, but I'm getting rather tired of the Office-like situational awkward comedies. Parks & Recreation seems like enough...if Community does well, they should just pick one and look for something more original. Joel McHale was pretty funny on The Soup though, and supposedly Danny Glover is in it. Bonus.

Eastwick: I'm at least going to watch the pilot of this. I know the story, I know the ending, I know what happens in the sequels, and I don't like the story, ending, or sequels. But the cast is a bit alluring---I have a soft spot for Rebecca Romijn (probably cause she was a cool Mystique), and while Lindsay Price has something irritating about her, the third woman was in Veronica Mars' second season, and that's enough for me. Also it's about hot women with magic powers and I'm gay, so we're naturally gonna give each other a chance. (Practical Magic is still one of my favorites.)

Bored to Death: Haven't seen a trailer for this, but c'mon. Jonathan Ames as writer? The guys a genius. Jason Schwartzman as the lead? The guy's a genius...well, he's generally pitch perfect and sure knows how to pick a script. Schwartzman plays a fictional (slightly) version of Jonathan Ames (same name), but all of Ames' best work is entirely about himself, with a huge load of humor. (Wake Up, Sir!) Also Zach Galifinakis is in it, and he can be pretty good (especially in the Fiona Apple music video Not About Love.) If you ever meet Zach, be sure to mention his time on Tru Calling with Ms. Dushku. I'm pretty sure he's most proud of that work.


I'm pretty sure those are the only ones I'm at all interested in, except for whatever Lauren Graham vehicle they've got in the works, but that's probably a midseason deal. Still, other than Glee, it seems like yet another tepid uninspiring lineup of new shows. Granted I am a total amateur, but it doesn't seem all that hard to come up with some completely new engrossing ideas. Maybe they should start finding network executives from completely different places...like actual writers, or just someone who has some balls not to do reality, sitcom, medical drama and cop procedural.

As for returning shows there's Fringe (which redeemed a slow season with a cool finale), Dollhouse (which I hate but still have to watch cause it's Whedon and Jamie Bamber will be in the premiere), House (which also had an interesting finale--nuthouse--and a cool promo-see below), HIMYM (which is always good for a laugh), Castle (which is awesome cause Nathan Fillion is uber-Awesome), The Office (mostly just for Pam and Jim's wedding), Dexter (cause I kinda like freaking myself out, and Julie Benz was on Buffy), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (cause it makes me snort), The Simpsons (cause it's the Simpsons) and maybe Family Guy (if the Rush Limbaugh episode is this year.)



Other possibilities include Heroes (if they get completely new, and good, writers, and the rumor of Claire's lesbian kiss gimmick is a fake), Lie to Me (if Riley from Buffy joins the cast), and 30 Rock (if they stop with the shameless guest stars and get back to writing something funny.) Also might tune into Gossip Girl, if it's true that Chuck Bass makes out with a dude.


Yikes. Seems like it's about time to get a TiVo. Or maybe just more discerning taste.

Horror Movie Update(s)

Bloody Disgusting has a review of The Descent Part 2, and it's a pretty good one. Apparently the follow-up is not as intense, as it would probably be impossible to recreate the tone Neil Marshall hit in the first one, but is still very watchable. The return of Juno is confirmed (huzzah!) and a third act twist is promised. I've been waiting for awhile, and, thanks to Bloody Disgusting, I will adjust my expectations before finally viewing it. Release date is December 4th (in the UK at least) but I'm hoping it shows up online before that.

Sweet Cersei Mercy

None other than Lena Headey has been cast in the role of Cersei Lannister in the upcoming HBO adaptation of the novel Game of Thrones.


Headey, known for her role as Sarah Connor in the Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, has also starred alongside Jennifer Ehle (who has been cast as Lady Catelyn Stark, Cersei's moral and political opposite) as her lover in Possession.



In Game of Thrones however she will be lover to her brother (urgh) Jamie Lannister, played by the gorgeous, charming, gorgeous, underused, gorgeous Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. And just plain brother to Peter Dinklage's cunning dwarf, Tyrion Lannister.


Headey is the latest bigwig actor addition to the cast of what is a semi-rich fantasy story that goes horribly horribly down hill after the first two installments, not that HBO is much concerned with plot (True Blood.) The execs much prefer a series that has many opportunities for violence and sex and violent sex (True Blood.)

As for her costars from The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Summer Glau is joining Dollhouse, at least temporarily (small favor), Thomas Dekker is fast becoming the male equivalent of a scream queen (respect), and Brian Austin Green is playing villain Metallo in the immortal Smallville series. Kinda seems like the guys are doing better work.

Mostly I'm looking forward to seeing Lena as a blonde. (All Lannister's are blonde...their inbreeding assures this.)

Audience Participation

So I've been sitting on this definitive horror movie guide for several months now, and instead of typing it up and posting it, it just keeps growing with every illegal download perpetrated by my computer (there's a horror-fan-Mac-ghost who does so without my knowledge.) I just can't seem to figure out what to do---sit on it and keep it exclusively for STB? Or knock it into parts, and give it to some bigger site of fanship, like Forces of Geek or something? A couple comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Don't know if my diverse and massive following is as into horror as I can be on occasion. (There's a couple thrillers thrown into the list, and even an occasional romantic comedy that merits a genre change.)


Otherwise, here's a little Captain Elias update:
Reading: Kirith Kirin (for 5th time...better than I remembered)
Writing: List of new comics to get this week (very very short, for once)
Watching: US Open (when it starts airing at 11am...looking forward to Nadal and Clijsters)
Downloading: Warehouse 13 (yeah, I'm definitely a fan. And not the only one, it keeps breaking Syfy rating records)


In the worlds of comics, tv, Whedon, etc. there's plenty of news, but none I'm terribly interested in for the moment. So to make a half-assed post more like a two-thirds-assed post, here's a pic posted on the always entertaining Comic by Comic, related to the the new Disney buyout of Marvel.



Have a good one boys and girls.

Ingergalactic Planetary

A new, extended preview of the upcoming Planetary issue is available on Wildstorm's blog The Bleed. Pretty damn jazzed to see Elijah Snow, Jakita and Drums back in action. Feels like it's been forever since I read them take down The Four. The characters are awesome, it's Warren Ellis doing his best work, and no one does conceptual mind-bending beauty like John Cassady.

Due in October. Pick it up.

Some Choice DC/Blackest Night Previews

First up, Blackest Night: Superman, which, so far, has been the most horror-like issue of the event. The dark coloring, the pace, the quiet, the unnoticed and increasingly violent murders in the town of Smallville, the helplessness of Superman and Superboy...it's all rather chilling. Apparently in the next issue Psycho Pirate shows up, though I'm not sure why. Kal-L and Lois from Earth 2 seem like plenty of trouble to me, especially if Pa Kent is gonna be resurrected.

They just better not kill Krypto (or Ma, for that matter.)


Continuing the Superboy trajectory, here's some art from Adventure Comics #2. Cannot wait to see Connor and Cassie reunite. I think this title just may be the best thing in either comic universe out there right now. It's Johns in full nostalgic and original glory, with a character he crafted and understands, and an independent purpose and goal for the title. And this Francis Manapul guy is frakkin fantastic. (He even makes Cassie's red-shirt costume thing look decent...by focusing on the sweet ass hair.) God I love Superboy, so glad he's back, and even more excited for his reunion with Tim Drake than with Cassie. But I'll wait.




Another reason to rejoice at Superboy's return, is his return to the Teen Titans, which will hopefully, somehow, make that title get back to when it was great (mostly under Johns). Lately, it's been horrible...mostly when McKeever took over, and then killed and crippled the genius twins by a crazy dog from ancient Greece. It just got worse from there. The new team Wonder Girl has assembled is boring and lame and whiny, and they just killed the one member who I had grown fond of (Kid Devil.) Still, with Superboy AND Kid Flash back in action, it could really return to its former glory. And this newest preview cover shows at least an interesting storyline, with Ravager and her evil sociopathic manipulative father reunite to fend off some Black Lanterns.




Lastly, a couple pages from Blackest Night: Batman, which was better than I expected. I'm most interested to see Tim's journey, and how it plays it for him to face his dead parents. (The fact that they're intelligent when reanimated is a big plus, and it is worth paying attention to how Jack and Janet Drake interact; they were having marital troubles they overcame right when Janet was killed, and Jack lived for years without her, even going so far as to remarry.) The posse of reanimated Bat-villains is less interesting. A couple of them I don't even seem to know, though I guess that's a good sign, meaning Bat-writers are less eager to kill their characters (like Titans writers) than reuse them. Ventriloquist and his Scarface Black Lantern construct is cool though, and Blockbuster is ripe with drama (since Dick Grayson is almost directly responsible for him being dead.) Anyway, I'm definitely checking it out--Deadman is pretty cool, and even Damian (God help me) is growing on me.

Us Open Begins Today!

And I'm making the official Captain Elias prediction for 2009 champion right here:

Andy Roddick




Since Wimbledon he hasn't had the greatest/most active summer, but by gods, what a Wimbledon it was. Taking Federer to (+)5 sets, and doing it in such form. I don't know if it was marriage or hunger or the right coach, but the guy has matured. He plays like a pro these days, a smart, fit, talented one.

I'm guessing his biggest competition will be Fed and Murray (Nadal ain't 100% yet), in which case he'll make Murray look like the young douche he is, and he'll be very eager for a Fed rematch.

Still, the men's draw is so deep that you can't really count anyone out. Which makes it so fun to watch.

In related news, Roddick is a daily twitter-er (which I follow), and he is in the news for his response to the new US Open regulations about Twitter. They seem pretty general, mostly about 'on-court' uses or insider information. But Roddick appropriately labeled the attempt at editing them as 'lame' and that the person who used twitter for revealing secret/preemptive information would be a pretty big 'moron.'

We love you Andy. Kick some ass. Oh, and Happy Birthday.

We Crave Your Hearts and Your Demise

Blackest Night started pretty strong, but after just a couple months has seemed to slow down considerably. Not much happened in the 2nd issue of the main title, and all the miniseries' have just had their first issue...meaning it was mostly a lot of resurrections, bloody murders, and "what are those black rings?" questions.


The latest installment to come out was Blackest Night: Titans, in which we verify that the Black Lanterns have a major grudge with any superhero that bears the name Hawk. First Hawkman and Hawkgirl met a gruesome fate at a moment of true love, now Hawk of Hawk and Dove is in the process of getting her heart ripped out, by none other than her predecessor Hank Hall. This incarnation of Hawk, Holly Granger (whose sister Dawn is Dove,) was either created or just mostly written by Geoff Johns, so I suppose he has the liberty to kill her as he'd like. (Not that he's writing about the Titans anymore.) And Dove's fight with Hank Hall was pretty sweet, until the end. Still, there's something harsh about a sister helplessly watching her sister get murdered, and it seems to recall the fate of Don Hall in Crisis on Infinite Earths.



In the solicitations of future Blackest Night covers, it was shown that the main lineup of heroes who can fight back against the (Un)Dead Lanterns are Hal Jordan, Barry Allen, Tora Olafsdotter (Ice), Oliver Queen, Diana Prince, Clark Kent, Connor Kent and Bart Allen. I understand that these are the characters who have died and come back (and if you believe Raven from Johns' run on Teen Titans, it all started when Superman came back. He opened the 'Door between Life and Death.')

But others have died and returned. Where's Jason Todd in all this? Donna Troy? Donna's about to face her dead baby son, which would be the first resurrected infant we've seen so far, so maybe that's a specific plan to get her out of the way, in the same way Hawkman and Hawkgirl (notorious reincarnates) were dealt with. Didn't Captain Marvel die of cancer then turn up again? Even Cassandra Cain and Metamorpho have technically died a few times, but they were more revived than resurrected (God love CPR.)

It seems to me like Donna Troy's the big one. She's kinda the Jean Grey of the DC Universe, she's been gone and back so many times. Not to mention she's a heavy-hitter, a big wig in the superhero community, a Titan and universe-saver, Wonder Woman's sister (or something), and with magical powers of the Gods. Seems like a big threat to Nekron and Black Hand and the other belligerent corpses. Here's hoping she doesn't bite the big one yet again. (No one's got a costume as cool as hers. Wonder Girl could take a BIG hint there.)



Questions? Comments? Predictions? Who is going to lead the resistance? Johns seems to favor Green Lantern and Flash so far, but will that last the whole series? Will Jason Todd make an appearance (maybe in Blackest Night: Batman)? Is Pa Kent gonna get a black ring? Will Geoff Johns ever wake up gay and call me? Answers are needed people, and they're cheaper than $3.99 a pop.

They Killed Eddie Bloombergl! Those Unoriginal Bastards

In the latest issue of Teen Titans, the last bad episode in a spectacularly bad arc, yet another Teen Titan died.

No superhero team, in either universe, has had so many deaths, some of which have been incredibly stupid (Terra buried in rubble, Aquagirl drowned), They've also had the most roster changes I've ever experienced. The revived Titans (courtesy of Geoff Johns, naturally) was successful because of the characters that made up the core; Robin, Superboy and Wonder Girl (and Kid Flash.) Robin moved on to more personal matters, Superboy bit the big one (but is back), Kid Flash was beaten to death (but is back) and WG was left to mind the store.

She didn't do so hot. Mostly she pouted, argued with Ravager (her one good teammate) till she drove her away, assembled some B-list candy-ass teen heroes to fill the ranks, and donned a new and pretty retarded costume. Now, in the last issue before Connor and Bart come back to the fold, (why couldn't they have done it an issue earlier and saved the day?) she lets one of her closest friends and allies die during a lame prison outbreak.

To be honest, at first I wasn't really into Eddie Bloomberg, Kid Devil (then Red Devil) at all. He seemed like an overly quippy useless addition to the team. But he completely grew on me. His backstories were rather cool, his earnestness never waned despite being rebuffed by people he thought friends and heroes (Blue Devil, Zatara, Ravager), and his powers and skill grew as well. In the end he had lost his powers, but he stuck around the Titans tower, helping with the fight.


His death is rather insulting. As opposed to thinking up something remotely original, they had a villain whose power was an uncontrollable nuclear reaction, about to uncontrollably detonate and destroy the city. So Eddie pops him in the jet and flies into space with him, not ejecting because he doesn't want to risk the jet turning around (the Titans jet doesn't have autopilot suddenly?) and they blow up together.

The other Titans are hardly phased by it. They go through the motions of grief, have a funeral, contemplate quitting, but ultimately use it as a lesson for heroism and teamwork, and they cheer each other up. Pointless, since Superboy and Kid Flash are back now, and the team will re-form around them now. Static hasn't lived up to the hype, Aquagirl is redundant with Cassie around, Blue Beetle is in my opinion tepid, Miss Martian underused, and Bombshell's rebellious belligerence is boring and flat.

I've enjoyed Bryan Q. Miller before--Batgirl, even old Teen Titans issues--but this latest run has been embarrassingly bad. He should have lunch with Matt Fraction and discuss how easy it is to destroy a team hero book. For his part, I believe Fraction has some evil twin, because it seems impossible that the guy writing Iron Man these days is responsible for X-Men/Dark Avengers Utopia, which has been increasingly horrible, exponentially lame, massively stupid in plot developments and characterization, and even pretty bad when it comes to the artwork.

These titles have a built in audience, one that it's not so hard to displease. How about you find some writers who don't piss all over the people who came before them.

Penguin Classic Graphic Covers

Apparently Penguin is publishing a Classic series with famous graphic novel and comic artists doing the covers. Check the gallery out on flickr, its pretty damn cool. But here's an example for you (and coincidentally, one of my favorite books ever.)


And we've also got Chris Ware doing Candide.



Hat Tip Jason Thibault

Blackest Night: Titans Preview

The Blackest Night: Titans miniseries begins soon, and it should be pretty good. Mostly cause the Titans have one of the highest amounts of dead former members. It looks like the series will combine the currently separate titles/teams Teen Titans and Titans, so that the supporting cast will be lengthy (both in terms of heroes and Black Lanterns.)

The central Black Lantern figure, based on the cover, seems to be Terra, that manipulative, oversexualized (she was sleeping with Deathstroke) attempted murderer who Beast Boy never got over. Aside from that it seems Hawk and Dove will be attacked by old Hawk, Donna Troy will have to deal with her long-dead husband and son, and Superboy and Kid Flash will be pursued heavily by the Black Lantern's for their unique death + resurrection personal history.

That's a lot of strong material. Check out the full preview at IGN.

Kids in the Hall Return(s)

The Kids in the Hall are back. Instead of doing a sketch comedy show, they're reuniting in the form of an eight part 'comic murder mystery' titled Death Comes to Town.

Check out the full article on Twitch.


I'm pretty excited. Have a feeling they got the idea from that Reno911 murder mystery episode, which one of the Kids in the Hall was in. Haven't really seen Mark McKinnon much since Slings & Arrows, but I bet he's still a fantastic writer. On occasion, Canadian television can be fantastic.

Gilmore Girls

Had a flash of nostalgia when I found reruns of GG on TV yesterday. Watched the episode where Lorelai graduates from business school (and Rory goes to NYC to see Jess, who I always had a crush on, till he joined Heroes) and there was a guest star on the show: none other than Seth MacFarlane! Makes me wonder if he made any GG jokes on Family Guy.

The revisitation of the show also made me remember of one of the best scenes they made, around the end of the show; tightly written as usual, but fast-paced, interestingly shot, and emotional. The good stuff starts at around 5:00 if you wanna skip, but goes fast.

Ingolorious Basterds

Debbie Schlussel calls it the Movie of the Year. That's saying something, coming from her. Haven't seen it yet, but have every intention of doing so.


In the meantime, check out Quentin Tarantino's 20 favorite films that have been made since he became a director. Decent list, but I couldn't stop watching the Death Proof clips at the bottom...now I want to watch it again. (Death Proof, not the 20 favorites.)

Dollhouse's Second Season

The fumbling, flat, and inexplicably critically acclaimed Joss Whedon show, Dollhouse, is set to return this fall. As previously reported, the new season is loaded with guest stars, including Whedon alumnus Alexis Denisof (and possibly Summer Glau) and Battlestar Captain Jamie Bamber.

The newest guest star announced is Oscar winner Keith Carradine, who is currently reprising his role as FBI Serial Killer Hunter, and Deb's ex-boyfriend, on Dexter. The guy is stellar, but acting chops don't mean much if the script still sucks.


Check out a new promo shot of Dollhouse. And pray that they are truly going for something original. The first few episodes, which everyone glosses over since they were admitted to be weak by the creators and actors, were truly horrible, and the rest, while more deftly made, were still unendearing and tepid. If they continue on the formulaic route, they will invariably suffer the same fate as the show whose renewal slot they were given, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. And, yeah, Eliza Dushku is nice to look at, but I hope in between Uganda trips and deluxe sushi meals with Rick Fox (barf) she took some acting lessons.



So are you tuning in out of true affection, or Whedon loyalty? That is to say, are you a witless blind zombie or just much much smarter than me?


In slightly related news, Felicia Day's web-series The Guild is returning for a third season. I'm not the biggest fan of the series, though I've liked Felicia since she was Vi in Buffy Season 7, nor the biggest fan of techno-y pop, but this promo music video is well-made, funny, and her voice is fantastic:

Superheroes of Sharia

A Muslim superhero group, published for years as a cartoon strip, is going international in the form of Saturday morning animation. (Watch out for IEDs, Power Rangers.) The group of heroes, who adhere to Sharia Law (that is, sodomy equals execution, adultery equals execution, dissent equals execution, and men can divorce their subhuman wives via text-message....and then execute them) are called The 99, because Allah apparently has/had 99 attributes, so each hero is gifted with a corresponding power.


My favorite description of one of the heroes is Dar The Afflicter, an American who became a paraplegic after a drunk driving accident, and now has the ability to affect nerve endings with his mind and inflict indescribable pain. 'Cause that's what real heroes do! Torture.

The others are half-normal, half-not. You've got your powerhouses, and fliers, and talented engineers. But then you've got a girl whose mind is a GPS and can track enemies, a super-hearer who can listen in on your phone conversations, and one who can "see the light of truth in others and allow them or force them to see it in themselves." Not freaky at all.

The creator, Dr. Naif al-Mutawi, was inspired by visiting with Muslim victims of torture under Saddam Hussein recovering in a New York hospital. He was turned off by the current children trends of sticker books with phrases like 'Let me die a martyr' or that TV bunny they have that encourages kids to kill Jews and go to paradise. Sounds noble enough, but passing Saudi censors due to financial support makes me slightly doubtful.

Dr. al-Mutawa decries the international appeal of the group by saying: “It is based on attributes such as generosity and mercy. These are not things that Islam has a monopoly over.” No, nor even the slightest historical example of.

The show is coming to British television soon, produced by Endemol, a Dutch company that produced and promoted Big Brother, with the mission 'to instill old-fashioned Islamic values in Christian, Jewish, and atheist children.' Just goes to show that when someone says they're working to counter some kind of agitprop effects (in this case jihadist) it just means they're doing their own agitprop campaign (in this case actually jihadist).


As I recall, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, and Science Court were never attempting to instill anything in me, except the desire to sit through the commercials. The attempt to impact and form a child's mind is a heinous, deplorable, creepy-ass endeavour, and should be forcefully opposed. Unfortunately, it most likely won't be.

Talks with DC and Marvel are apparently underway to feature The 99 in crossovers, echoing the new Obama illustration of civilizations as allies (he's so original.) I can imagine exactly what Batman would have to say to them, but it would never happen. I'm most interested in how Pigman would react. There's a fight scene I'd love to read. (Marvel has a national Chinese superteam already, with one man who can call on the strength of the entire population...strength in numbers, typical.)

The 99 is just a name, however, as it is forbidden to actually depict all of Allah's attributes. Or else you might be executed. Or, if you're lucky, Dar the Afflicter will give you a little taste of searing agony. Avengers Assemble.

A Feast for Crows

I've finished the fourth and final (as yet published) book in the series, A Song of Ice and Fire, and somewhere along the way I came to the conclusion that it sucked.

The third and fourth plodded along without an end. The characters I actually liked (Arya and Jon) were given less and less facetime, and practically buried in misery and betrayal. The characters I liked second best were brutally murdered. The characters I liked least took over the story for no foreseeable purpose.

The date of release for the next installment, Dance with Dragons, keeps being pushed back. George R.R. Martin claims he spends years writing each book, which is noticeable in the reading of them, and my belief is even he lost interest in the world. Thousands of pages with few redeemable or enjoyable moments can dry up even the most creative mind.

I can only hope the HBO show gets canceled before its' fourth season. And chances are Martin will die with the series unfinished, which would not be the greatest tragedy.

I'll probably read the next one, whenever it comes out, merely to find out what happens to those characters I actually care about, but I won't enjoy it. Perhaps I'll simply wait for the wikipedia entry to be posted.

Now I need to find a truly good book, perhaps a superior fantasy, to flush the bad taste out of my mouth. In case you're from Rio Linda or Port St. Lucie, I don't recommend this series.

Hottest Comic Book Writer

He's also the most successful these days, certainly in the DC Universe. I give you Geoff Johns. (Follow him on Twitter...he talks about his neighbor's kids a lot, and sneaking them ice cream. Pretty sweet. Also makes it sound like he lives alone. And reads comics. And writes comics....please call me.)

Conservative Celebrities (Yes, they actually exist.)

A Rule 5 Sunday Special



Sarah Michelle Gellar:

She might not be a complete and total conservative, but a self-identified Republican, but I still love her madly. And her baby's due....really really soon by the looks of it.




Emma Caulfield:

Yet another Whedon alum revealed to be a 'hardcore republican.' Explains why she hasn't had many big roles since Buffy and Darkness Falls. Check out her indie movie TiMER and her new webcomic Contropussy.




Jim Caviezel:

Catholic digest has an interview with the actor in which he speaks out against abortion, talks about prayer, The Stoning of Sooraya M., adoption and playing Jesus. That might have been the role that got him blacklisted, but I always loved his Count of Monte Cristo. (Nothing beats Dumas, sorry Bible.)


Angie Harmon:

Knew it. Sweet ass hot chick, with a footballer hubby. Wish they wouldn't keep canceling their shows.


Heather Locklear:

Proves that old wives' tale, the one about how conservative women never age. Or wait, maybe I just made that up, because she never freakin' ages. Heard she's guesting on the new Melrose Place remake.


Pete Sampras:

You can't get a much better example of humanity than Mr. Pistol Pete. Generally, if he believes it, so should you. The guy is the best player ever (keep your Nadals and Federers, thank you very much), the classiest sportsman, the most articulate privacy-lover, and he married a beautiful blonde (and probably convinced her to go conservative too.) God bless Pete.

Wolfman Trailer

The Remake is finally coming out. Bastards on youtube won't let you embed, so check it out here at BigHollywood.

Looks really well done and aesthetically pleasing, but not sure about the story. Hard to make a werewolf movie original these days.

It's Always Sunny on FX

The new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia premieres in a couple weeks on FX. Some snort-worthy previews have been released on hulu, so I thought I'd post a couple. This show always makes me crack up.


Kitten Mittens





Wedding Dress






Green Trash






In other TV news, Warehouse 13 has been picked up by SyFy for a second season. I, for one, am happy. It's not groundbreaking, or magnificently written, but it's sweet and earnest and science fictiony, and I really like Joanne Kelly for some reason, possibly from her work on Slings & Arrows, one of the best shows ever made. (The McClintock guy makes me laugh on occasion as well.) Soft-hearted geeks, rejoice!

Game Of Thrones Casting News

New casting developments in HBO's upcoming Game of Thornes has been revealed. The role of Jamie Lannister goes to...Nikolaj Coster Waldau.

This has me mixed. You see, Nikolaj is one of the most beautiful men ever to be created and subsequently put on American TV. (I liked New Amsterdam a lot, but it got axed quickly, and I wasn't sure if I liked Virtuality, but that got axed quicker.) Jamie Lannister is pretty, but fairly reprehensible, at least until the third volume or so. Still, I'm hardcore in love with Nikolaj, so this seems to me like the best casting feat the series has pulled off so far.


In the role of Daenarys, the exiled dragon princess, is Tamzin Merchant from The Tudors. Don't watch that crapfest, so not aware of her abilities, but she looks ok for the part (Dany is 13, despite all her feats, sexual and otherwise.)


As Robb Stark, the dutiful son and eventual King in the North, we have a British actor named Richard Madden, a veteran of the stage and most recently seen in Hope Springs (a comedy starring Alex Kingston.) Looks pretty appropriate to me. And if he can do Romeo, he shouldn't have any trouble with Robb (let's just hope he didn't read the third installment before he signed on for the role.)


Bigtime acting vet Iain Glen takes the role of Ser Jorah Mormount, Dany's trusted ally and protector, and exiled knight of Westeros. Will possibly be a bit weird to watch him fall in love with the 13 year old girl.


Someone named Alfie Allen will be Theon Greyjoy. (If you google Allen you'll find lots of nudey shots...guess he must've done Equus.) His smile seems cocky and semi-evil enough, though I pictured Greyjoy darker. No matter; the Ironmen are the least interesting storyline in my opinion.


The heart of the story, however, is in the Stark sisters, Arya and Sansa (particularly Arya.) The girls casted in those roles are named Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner, but are unknown and therefore un-google-able. However, George R.R. Martin himself has a couple tiny pics of them, so I'll just link you over there.

All-in-all, production seems to be progressing swiftly, with shooting to start in a month or so in Ireland, and most of the casting completed. The greatest moves so far have been Jennifer Ehle and Nikolaj Coster Waldau, with Sean Bean sure to be a draw. They intend to do all seven installments of the book in seven seasons (though only four books have been written/released), with Martin himself writing at least one episode a season. I applaud their diligence, but I have doubts that it'll last that long. I myself am reading the fourth book now, and losing interest faster than Rush Limbaugh lost weight.

Still the first two are pretty meaty, so originally it should be fun. Plus, if I haven't mentioned. Nikolaj Coster Waldau is going to be on the show, and he's, like, the dreamiest guy ever.



For more casting news and commentary check out the Jennifer Ehle blog. (She was cast as Lady Catelyn.)

Limbaugh's Family Guy Taping Session

Yesterday on the Rush Limbaugh Show, Rush talked for a whole segment about the experience at the Family Guy studio when he 'laid down his tracks' on Tuesday (while the absolutely fantastic Mark Steyn filled in.)

Big Hollywood was kind enough to provide the transcript (I'm too poor to be a Rush 24/7 member, and I was driving while listening yesterday) of that part of the show, and I thought I'd post it here.

-A lot of you people been e-mailing me, “How dare you? Why would you capitulate, why would you go on a show that makes so much fun of conservatives? Why would you do this?” ‘Cause it’s a cartoon show and because they asked me and I had script approval, and some of the things in this script are — I had to do four or five takes on one line ’cause I kept cracking up in the middle of it… Brian, the dog, that becomes a Rush groupie, I’m doing my radio show, like now, I’m sitting at the microphone, and I’m talking about Pelosi, and I said, “What can we do to stop the Pelosi agenda?” And Brian says, “You’re going soft!” I said, “What are talking about going soft?” “I know what to do to stop Pelosi! You know, the problem is you just tell everybody she’s on crack.” And I said, “Brian, look, I know she’s on crack, but you can’t just say it that way, it’s not going to persuade anybody. And then he says, “I got a better idea to shut her up,” and that’s what I can’t tell you, you’ll just have to wait and hear it.

-Now, The Family Guy, as everybody knows, is staffed pretty much by liberals. So I walk in and the first guy that comes up to me whispers, “Hey, I’m your biggest fan here. I’m the only one. I’m a conservative and I’m really glad to see you, it’s a thrill to meet you…

On the way out another guy comes up, “I’m the only conservative in the building and I just wanted to say hi, and I wanted to see you before you left.” And I said, “No, no, no, no, there’s another. There are actually two of you.” “There are?” I didn’t tell him who, I didn’t identify him, his secret is safe with me.

-I thought this episode was going to start out this season, it would be the premiere episode this season. It’s not. It’s the premiere episode in September of 2010.

-I want to thank Seth MacFarlane and his people for giving me the invitation and opportunity to appear on it and throwing such a great time yesterday.

Pretty surprised by the length of time it takes them to put together an episode (over a year) as well as the amount of employees the show has (about 500). Never thought so much manpower and effort went into it...thought it was easier than live action, especially cause Seth does a few of the voices himself.

But what DIDN'T surprise me was how well they got along. Rush is a funny guy, humble yet confident despite the easy accusation of arrogance, and certainly class act enough to pull of a popular liberal-minded cartoon. When they took pictures of him for the animators, they exclaimed that they couldn't make fat jokes anymore (he's lost like 80lbs or something nuts) but still asked him for a sideways profile shot. He obliged, and then bent over and grabbed his ankles, just in case they wanted to draw his butt too. That's definitely the kind of thing that'll make Seth MacFarlane guffaw.

Batgirl Unmasked

And the winner is...everyone! The general consensus about the new Batgirl's identity was dead on, as they mercifully revealed it to be Stephanie Brown in the first issue. (I was worried they were gonna drag it on for a few issues.)


The issue itself was a bit choppy, and I didn't think Stephanie's inner narrative was entirely convincing, but the message was clear; heroing is in her blood, she can't stop herself now, she's much better than when she started as The Spoiler, but she's got a long way to go to be at Cassandra Cain's level.

The Cassandra Cain brush off was another low point. I liked them being friends, but the sudden decision to take off the cowl for identity purposes makes no sense. Cassandra found and built her identity through the Bat-symbol, she gained a family for which she was incredibly grateful, and a purpose and a code to live by and be proud of. I'm sure they could have come up with something better. Maybe she'll come back and take over as Batwoman...not that I don't like Rucka, but Detective Comics isn't really hitting my sweet spot. Not into the redhead lesbian yet, definitely not into this female Joker "Alice" villain, and while the art is admittedly stunning it doesn't read very easily.

I'm glad Barbara Gordon is in the series though. It explains the future covers of Stephanie donning the old school Batgirl costume (think yellow lining and yellow high heel boots.) Yet again, however, her personality is written like a dried up well: consumed by anger over being a cripple. How many times do we need to read her overcoming that? Next she'll be having Joker nightmares, despite years and years of that, and actual physical confrontations that she won.

Still, her mentoring Stephanie should be good. She's the one who connected to Cassandra, and while Steph got training from Batman and Robin, respectively, the first screwed her over majorly and the second mostly made out with her. She needs some real help now, or else she'll end up being tortured and left for dead again. (I'm sincerely hoping for a Black Mask rematch, since he is back in Gotham and making himself known...by destroying Arkham Asylum for one.)

Also hope some Red Robin confrontations are coming in this series, as she's briefly appeared in Tim Drake's own title, and was shut down by him (semi-deservedly.) A rematch with Mr. Zsasz would be sweet too, since that was one of her few memorable outings when she was Robin briefly, and because he would add a needed level of terror and legitimate darkness to her nightly exploits.

So all in all, not a spectacular debut issue, but one with definite promise.

For more bloggers' opinions on the new Batgirl, check out When Fangirls Attack

Blackest Night Revealed

Recently revealed in the DC solicits is the main villain of Geoff Johns' super series Blackest Night. His name is Nekron, and, I'll freely admit, I had no idea who he was.

You neither?

Well, check out Comic by Comic, one of my favorite blogs ever, for an in-depth, humorous, and much needed history of this man-behind-the-Black. Rich (the blogger) is the shit, and you can always trust him.