The celebrated Chicago thug will join beloved wife Michelle in gracing our favorite medium. I suggest, but hardly expect, a new Kingpin of Crime story line. And I loudly applaud Spider-Man's confusion upon seeing Biden and mistaking him for the Vulture. One thing's for certain: J. Jonah will have to rethink his stance on Spidey once he sees his newest ally.
YOU'RE GETTING ME MIGHTILY DEPRESSED, CAPTAIN. LIKE THE NINJA TURTLES FROM THE PRIMODIAL OOZE THERE IS A NEW SUPERHERO EMERGING FROM THE CHICAGO CESSPOOL. IS SPIDEY GONNA BUY HIS HOUSE THROUGH THE CONVICTED REAL ESTATE SPECULATOR? WILL HE TEACH YOUNG WEATHERCHILDREN HOW TO MAKE A LOVELY HOME EXPLOSIVE DEVISE SO THE LOCAL POLICE STATION CAN GET WHAT SHOULD BE COMING TO THEM? GOD DAMN AMERICA! FINALLY, WE GETTING OURSELVES SOME CHANGE.
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